Misleading the Way

“Gin martini, straight up, heavy on the olives.”

“How many’s heavy?”

“I don’t rightly know. Three. No. Five.”

“Let’s agree on four, then. I gotta watch the inventory on garnishes best I can. Gin’s a-whole-nother thing.”

“You know what they used to call gin?”

“What?”

“Blue Ruin. And beer was Heavy Wet.”

“Have another, will you?”

“Well, you know, these things probably ain’t cheap. And besides, I’m going steady with another bottle of gin. Don’t want to make it jealous.”

“Gosh bless you.”

“Gesundheit.”

“Nobody sneezed.”

“I’m preparing for an unknown future.”

“Settling in, no?”

“Yes.”

“Perhaps the mood’s defunct, or at least deficient in airy wonder.”

“All I notice is all I got.”

“Cherries are all picked. Better back that rig up.”

“Hedge all the bets, too. Fearlessness backs up worry’s tough-guy stance with cashless transactions of kill-or-be-buried-alive politics.”

“Hell, put the artillery away, will you? Somebody’s going to get an accidental bullet to the…