Not Distributed in Topics

You are not going to find love

You might get a hint of it

Out there

In the simpering folds of panic’s desperate worry

An inveigling taste perhaps

While the heart waits and waits for it’ll never properly

Want

And the heel’s played again without any

Arclight

Or even an abiding angel to its name

Pass the peas and the skeletons

Get swept up and then over

But you

You are not going to find love

Not out there

With your hurried mind and your misshapen soul

Your perpetually packed bags and your lost hindsight

Not in the top shelf of a well-lit bar

Or the warped plaster and mold of a dingy dive

You

You are not going to find love

Not in delirious conversations about Barthelme in the back of two-in-the-morning cabs

Not in all the happy-hours or parties you’ve ever been bored at

Not in the flick of methamphetamine’s furious fire

Not in a poolroom’s popcorn machine or an alley’s noir-like glint or an airport security checkpoint or a crowded elevator ride

Not even inside what you consider to be your deepest and most romantic thoughts

Love

Love is for the birds and the newscasters and the dogs and the pamphleteers

Love is for Randy Newman and Elvis and The Munchkins and the underpaid groundskeepers and those who sneak on the bus for free

Love is not for you

To find

It is just something that happens

Like a spot of vomit on the sleeve

Or a trapeze artist sipping Beefeater on a trampoline

Before wishing goodbye to all the black dresses of her past

Silent and barefoot and brave

Some squashed eyeball of a thing no longer wandering

Love

Out of it for good

Love

Missed beneath the seashells or a dumpster dripping rain

Love

You’ll never have enough and always too much

Love

With no cash value or interest earned at all

Love

Love

I’m quite sure

It must happen

All of the goddamn time

The only writer who matters

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