This $29 2-Ounce Bottle of Fruit Juice Will Change Your Life, or Kill You

Hello, lovers of healthy lifestyles and purveyors of fine fruit juices. I would like to introduce you to the newest chic and hip fruit drink on the block: The Murderous Mélange. It’s a real “juicer’s juice” with all the fascinating mouth-tingling pleasures of strange fermentations and distillations that your refined palette craves. I promise you, this drink will…